Anger Management Center
This page is just for fun. Know someone who needs a laugh? Do you? This page is just for that.
Bad Call Brick
©Shirley Thomas
When the referee’s call was made too quick,
it’s time to bring out the Bad Call Brick,
Throw it at the TV with aim so steady,
Now don’t you feel much better already?
"Brick" is sponge painted to look like a brick and measures 5 1/2" l x 3" w x 2" d
Dammit Dolls
Cute litte 9" dolls stuffed with fiber fill and squeaker in its head. Each doll is fabric themed to the subject of the attached little poem
Computer
When your computer just won’t obey
And seems to go its separate way,
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Diet
When the pounds aren’t going
And your hard work isn’t showing
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Love
When he seems so far away
And doesn’t listen to what you say
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Sports
When to game doesn’t go your way
And you need to see someone pay
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Teacher
When your classroom won’t behave
and you want to rant and rave,
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Golf
When every drive ends in the ruff
And throwing clubs just ain’t enough
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Kids
When the kids are acting up
And your house looks like a dump
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Rush Hour
When the road a head’s a parking lot,
And your gut's tied in a knot
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Job
When you think your job's the pits,
And getting a head is jut a wish
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Surgery/Sickness
When your body's in disarray,
And getting better seems years away
It's time to grab your dammit doll.
Just grasp it firmly by the legs
and find a place to slam it
As you whack it’s stuffing out,
yell, “dammit, dammit, dammit!”
Or better yet
Pinch its head
And it will squeak for mercy!
Golf 2
